you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he was CRYING into my vagina
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have aggressive nipples.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
