um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
