he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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