I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
