just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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