hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
