I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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