As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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