i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
