It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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