just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
