somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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