Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
