im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
