Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
