You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
