I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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