I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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