I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
