I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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