I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
