you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
