halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
