The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
