If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
