Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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