its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He better not be in your backpack
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
