If i come over, it means nothing
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
