I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
