The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
