real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
