would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Pants are for mortals
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
