if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
