Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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