So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
