My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
