She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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