i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
