when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
