never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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