We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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