I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
