I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
