i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
