if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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