Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We got so high we made milksteak
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
