Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
