I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I am naked and annoyed.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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