its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
