Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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