im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
