I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
