Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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