You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
