how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
