if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
