He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
