i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
