Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
