so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
