i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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