Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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