I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
