Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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