GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We're too hungover to prance.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
