over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
