My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
