lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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